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I did a presentation in Women's Lit class recently on creativity, talking mostly about Cixous's idea of ecriture feminine, or female writing.  My argument was that ecriture feminine is a manifestation of what I called yin, or shaded, or have-not writing.  Yin for the part of the taijitu that represents it, shaded as a translation of the idea of yin and have-not as what is in my opinion the essential part of the idea of yin.  There are some quirks in the idea -- many of the traits we associate with yin (passivity, for example) are rare in shaded writing, but I would argue that the only truely essential trait of yin is scarcity as opposed to yang abundance.  Other than that, shade tends to take on whatever traits are devalued by the light, either of its own volition or by imposition.

In writing, light refers both strength and richness of literary tradition and opportunity to write and have that writing read.  Lighted traditions are rich and complex with strong intertexual links; creating a new text in a lighted tradition means building a new level on a large, well-established body of works.  The problem with lighted traditions is that each work is seen in the light of every other work, and is compared to them.  Pressure to write like Homer or Milton grows, and the more intense the light, the more washed-out and uniform new texts become.  Eventually everything becomes either too complex and obscure to understand or too timid and derivative to possess meaning.

Creative writers, and artists in general, are poor conformists.  As lighted traditions grow overly complex and esoteric, new ideas tend to spring up in direct opposition to them, forming shaded traditions that usually set themselves up directly opposed to the ruling lighted tradition.  These shaded writers challenge and subvert the lighted assumptions and bright to the fore values that the light ignores or devalues.  For example, Romanticism challenged victorian neo-classicism by mixing genres, focusing on the self in nature and refusing to simply emulate the great writers of the past.  As individual shaded writers begin to form a tradition, their works begin to inform one another and the whole literary movement moves in the lighted direction.  Eventually the tradition will become too strongly lighted and will need to have its own assumptions challenged once again by newer, fresher ideas, completing the natural cycle.

This is how it works under ideal conditions, of course.  The dominant literature of the most privileged classes has indeed followed this sort of wave pattern.  When we talk about female writing, though, we are talking about a group that has been thrust deep into the shade for pretty much all of time.  The resulting shade is so strong that the writers that do emerge are too far and few between to establish a strong, lighted tradition, so women's writing remains dark.  This has been changing, recently, in some contexts, but the more elitist circles (particularly those concerned with 'serious writing' and the canon) are still strongly male-dominated.  Women's writing is breaking in, but women writers in this context have to deal with a literary canon that is horribly scewed in its portrayal of their gender  (representing them almost exclusively in broad, generalized strokes as active monsters or passive angels.)

That said, similar rules of shaded writing apply to all oppressed or silenced groups.  Racial minorities, third world countries, queer groups, disabled people, etc.  In all cases the shaded writing with varying success to subvert and overcome the lighted writing it opposes.


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School's been on for couple weeks now.  It's been going ok, i guess.  I'm pretty used to riding up and back and there's only been one bad day.  I'm not too happy about having to get up at 8:15 most mornings, particularly since the class i'm usually getting up for is mechanics, which is basically high school physics, but oh well.

Other classes have been going pretty good.  Calculus is going to be work but it's not such a bad kind of work.  I'm not overly fond of math, but i am good at it and it's nice to stretch those mental muscles occasionally, i guess.  Also my calc teacher is awesome and wears cool hats and writes on the windows in whiteboard during tutorial class.  Chemistry is going to be a much less fun kind of work.  Lots of number crunching and ridiculously abstract stuff.  I'll have to genuinely try in that one, particularly since the class itself is scheduled 1-2:15 after i've already had two morning classes including calc, and my brain gets worn out on me and tries to zone out >.>  Women's lit is at the same timeslot, but it's a seminar class and half the time it's my only class of the day (the other half i have a chem lab) so it barely counts as work, really.

My main complaint thus far is that between school and work at safeway i haven't had a single day off where i didn't have to head up to the area where school and work are, and honestly i feel like it's starting to wear on me a bit.  if it keeps going like this, i may have to ask for fewer hours, or saturdays off or something.  I'm not sure they have my availabity quite correct anyway and they've really been piling on the hours, so if i do have to revise my availability i might actually do that <.< then they could still give me the 3:15-10 shifts when i'm up there for school anyway, and i'd have a definite day off.  On the other hand, that'd mean more spending 7:15am-10pm up there, which is not a whole lot of fun either, so i dunno. <.<  I actually do have this coming sunday off, though i'm working some on saturday.  they did call me in for a awful lot of extra hours last week though... we'll just have to see how it goes.  I have to admit i'm feeling a bit bleh right now so that's colouring the whole situation >.> in a better mood i'd probably be a lot more optimistic about things.

I think i'm definitely actually for real finished my little binge of reading half the WoD books now.  Going to try to focus on writing projects, both for their own sake and cause i think i'll feel a lot better about hanging around home after school if i have something productive to work on!  I really need to finish Cremation, but i've built up a TREMENDOUS amount of 'not working on it' momentum by now x.x i'm doing some planning for new stories to try to get myself excited about the world again, and i might do some prewriting and stuff just to get back into the flow of producing lots of words again (that's part of why i'm doing this entry as well.)  I've been feeling kinda drained when i get home from school recently, but i don't think it's exactly that i'm tired <.< more that i need to find something to get excited about.

Speaking of which i'm been thinking of getting a proper desktop computer to do games and things on.  I figure i've probably earned in with all these extra hours and whatnot, and it'd be nice to have a machine that things would just run on and not have to worry about it chugging along and overheating.  Also i could pass on my current laptop to my lil sis, which would be cool cause she's the only kid in our family without a decent computer.

I guess that's just about all for now.  I'll maybe try to post soonish with some interesting bits of prewriting/worldbuilding for stories, maybe.  We'll see how it goes.
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As an experiment, i've taken nearly double my normal dose of dexedrine today (note that i have been on my current dose since grade school, meaning that i've essentially been reducing the effective dose by not scaling it up with my body size.)  Interestingly it completely failed to get me out of bed earlier than usual this morning, but i have since attended a class and can confirm that there is definitely a difference.

You know that episode of futurama where Fry decides to drink a hundred cups of coffee and gets increasingly jittery until he finally drinks number one hundred, then suddenly he's completely calm and the world is moving in slow motion?  That is kind of like the effect that powerful stimulates have on some people with ADHD.  I feel very calm, very focused and sort of detached.  I can comfortably sit completely still without stimming or fidgeting in some way (though when i try to focus on studying or whatever i start stimming again XP).  Most importantly for my purposes just now, i can sit down and read my densely written biology textbook like a novel and simply absorb information.

"The ascending aorta branches into the left and right coronary arteries, which supply blood flow to the heart.  The left coronary artery further branches into the anterior interventricular artery and the transverse artery; the right branches into the posterior interventricular artery and the circumflex artery.  As it angles the ascending aorta becames the arch of the aorta, from which come three major arteries; the brachiocornal(brachio-something anyway), the left common carotid and the left subclavical.  The brachiowhatever branches into the right common carotid and right subclavicle, which further..."

And so on and so forth.  There are a whole lot of arteries.  It helps that many of them are named in some meaningful fashion (carotid = neck, and the subclavicle goes under the clavicle bone.)

Anyway.  I wouldn't take this kind of dose every day but if i really need to study or focus on something it helps.  Downsides: if anyone tries to talk to me in the hall or something i will stare at them like a startled fish for several seconds before going 'hello?' and then probably wandering away in mid-conversation.  Also this stuff is kind of appetite-destroying so i'll need to remind myself to eat food.  We shall also have to wait and see how well i manage to sleep tonight.  Oh well.  At the least I should do much better on my next bio test after this.
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But his words, to my ears, were the whistling of wind
through the cracks in the rocks, where the foilage thinned
leaving only the moss speckled, snow-dusted stone
towering high o’er the trees so aloft and alone.
He’d have better luck asking the rock.

- excerpt from untitled long poem in progress
 
Alright then.

I have been distracted. I blame school essays; they create a situation where I strongly don't want to write the thing I have to write next, so I seek out a million distractions and establish bad habits that stick around after I've managed to force myself to write the things. Of course I'm also to blame for a lack of self-discipline in dealing with these essays, but ah well.

Time to make a conscious effort to write stuff. The longer I go without working on something, the more daunting the prospect of adding to it becomes. After a point there's a temptation to just start something new, but down that road lies a mountain of unfinished projects and a strong doubt about my ability to finish things at all.

On the bright side, I've been doing more art recently, partly to distract myself, and it's been pretty fun. I shall try to continue with that. Oh, also CreatorUnreal commissioned me to draw his RP character twice, and that went really well, so if anyone is looking for art commissions I am willing and able to oblige. More details at my FA account.

That said, my main point here is stop messing around, me. >:| You have cool stories to be writing. And one poem.
Supplementary words. )
 
 

Well...

Sep. 18th, 2010 02:47 pm
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Well.

Well well.

Well what does that even mean? Well. Three o'clock and all's well? But why do we say 'well listen' or 'well anyway' or 'well if you come this way'. It doesn't mean anything really. It weakens the sentence a bit, to prefix it with 'well'. It says, 'well this is just what I'm saying,' it takes the edge off of a boldfaced declaration of fact. Sometimes its just a spoken punctuation mark to begin a sentence. Well. Well it seems to work just fine, anyway.


And that was your pointless creative-writing preface for this entry.

This part is the actual journal post. )
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'An MRI machine can take a picture of the brain. A keyboard takes a picture of the mind.'

(was told to come up with a few sentences about how I think of writing for Adv writing and editing, that's what I came up with.)


Well, I'm in Ecology and Evolution class, and at this point I've been to all my courses except one, the Eighteenth Century Novel.

I've found you can estimate the difficulty of a course by how much actual learning happens on the first day. "Here's your course outline now go home" means you can safely use this period to write essays for other classes. Or blog posts. Or webcomics, or sleep >.>; If you get right down to work and actually use the entire class period, you should probably pay attention in lectures. Based on that this is gonna be a pretty tough term, cause I only got to go home early in Romanticism.

Class rundown! Eighteen century novel and romaticism are period lit classes, the difference being that I'll have to read actual novels for the novel class so that'll be time consuming >.>

Taking Advanced writing and editing, which is a senior writing course. In the intro writing course they teach you how to write 'academically', this is where they push you to do that and also write well. Four essays, no midterm, no final, great prof, should be fun.

Lit Crit and Theory is gonna be weird ._. Imagine TVtropes if it was allowed to develop for a century and there were like fifty factions that hated one another and all made up their own set of terms, that's kinda what lit theory is like. Except more pretentious and less geeky. On the bright side, I do like that kinda thing and there's only one actual essay for the class.

Eco and Evo is one of the funner bio courses :3 field trips will be happening! Mostly to swamps <.<; but still!


PS: Ooo I forgot! They've given me a room to myself! ^-^b Apparently res wasn't completely full and being autistic bumps you right the the top of that list :D

PPS: Oh, and Eco and Evo ended 20 minutes early, thus at least sorta justifying my writing this blog post in the middle of it ^-^;
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Well, tomorrow is move-in day for Residence at my school. I'm maybe the tiniest bit nervous but I'm sure it'll be fine.

My Dad (who is great) just sat down with me to help get my program worked out (since I'm hoping to do a double major in english and bio and its tricky.) And it looks like it is possible! I need to hang around in school for an extra year and take a pretty heavy course-load, but I'm pretty sure I can do it. I am still short one class if I take 5 courses per semester for the rest of it >.> but I have to take two from a list of courses like 'intro to geology' and 'intro to computers' so I figure if I take those during one semester they'll be less work combined than any one of my other courses so I could take six courses that semester easy >.>b

"Intro to computers" <.< 'See this is the keyboard, and you push the buttons and make words! Now speed-typing exercises for the rest of the course.'

There's an 'intro to computer programming' course that sounds slightly less basic, think I'll take that instead >.>b
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