shady side of the moon

 It was snowing outside at work today, snowing quite hard although there was no wind and it wasn't very cold. You could just see the fuzzy outline of the moon through the clouds overhead. It felt special, really special. Maybe sacred, maybe something else, i'm not completely sure. I kinda started thinking about why it felt special though and i think i figured out some stuff about me. What i am, i mean.

 

I'd call myself a mooncat, i guess, since if i'm going to be a thing the thing probably ought to have a name and that's as good a one as any. That doesn't really tell you what a mooncat is, though, so...

 

I was thinking about why i like the falling snow so much. I already know i'm attached to the moon, and i like this time of year because the nights are long and the days are short, but i wasn't sure about the snow. I like rain too, and storms but those are quite different. Eventually what i realized was that the quickly-falling snow blankets everything and covers tracks. Similar to how the night makes it harder to see and rain and wind can make tracking harder, and how the moon only shows it's whole face once a month. Mooncats are sort of... shape-fluid, i think; how we (assuming i am not the only one of me, which is a completely baseless assumption of course XP) look is less important than how me move. So, i'm fairly fond of this body but i feel like if i had a different one i'd be fine with that too. I feel pretty much the same way about gender, i'm happy with the one i'd have but if i was the other i don't think i'd care.

 

Ok, i went off on a bit of a tangent there. What i was getting at with the whole snow and hidden stuff thing was that i think mooncats are supposed to be invisible, or at least able to turn invisible at will.

 

Also, i'm not actually a cat. Not in the therian/otherkin sense. Cat is a fursona for me, and i suppose maybe the form i would have chosen if i'd been given free choice in the matter, but it's not my 'true form'. I'm not exactly sure what my 'true form' actually would be... and even if i was, i'm not sure i would tell you. :P because i think secrets and mysteries and hidden things are kind of the whole point of being what i am. Mooncat i guess X3

 

Well, that didn't take as long as i thought it would to explain in text >.>; but i guess that's all i've got for now...

A cat that needs no introduction nevertheless demands one -- he is greedy. He thinks rather too much of himself.  His steps are quick and purposeful, his movements filled with grace and poise.  His reflection enthralls him; binds him -- he is drawn to it.  Tied solely to self.  Unable to look away, blind to the passing of the others, the aliens.  He takes pen in hand and draws  his reflection a thousand times.

A raven caws softly.  It sees and it knows and it understands.  Ten times better to know than to see.  A hundred times better to understand than to know.  It is perched in a tree; the mirror is too far to see clearly; yet, the raven does not fly nearer.  Its reflection saddens it.  It reminds it of things, of places, of people.  It sees people too, with the same sad eyes -- looks at them and through them.  Records their stories.  Seeks to understand.  Yet does not act.

A shadow waits.  Silent.  Wordless knowing.  The play of light on the tranquil pool as the ripples play across its surface, casting rainbows on the rock face.  The sky above, the orange of the streetlights on the slowly descending snowflakes.  The howling of the wind in the mountains, in the heights; far beyond everything.

I stare deeply into the cracked mirror, but I then I turn away.  It and I are one and the same, I suppose.  It hardly matters.  I have never cared a great deal about fitting in.

I want to transcend.